You know the age old saying about what goes on behind closed doors?
Well that sums up my family the one I grew up in! All polished on the outside, smiley shiny happy normal functional people – but with a deep dark secret, one that no one knew of that was so tightly kept. My name is Adele and this is my story, and what I aim to achieve out of sharing it with people is for them to know that perfect doesn’t work. Perfect isn’t possible. Perfect is exhausting.
** This is by no means a political piece, merely some background notes. I was born in South Africa (white woman) during some tumultuous times. Probably one of the most effective segregation techniques & hypocritical systems known to man, apartheid and what it meant led me to feel ashamed, shocked and very confused. My father was, during this stage involved in the system in some way shape or form. From policeman, soldier and later on “Spy” or Intelligence agent. From my knowledge and recollection Post Traumatic Stress wasn’t a thing back then, or if it was dealing with it, de-briefing, unloading, effective counselling didn’t really exist. Nor did the notion of let me tell my family what is happening inside of me either. What was prevalent though was concealment, which is not too surprising considering the nature of employment of the alpha of our home. I think we knew he was sick, but we didn’t know just how badly, or what to do for that matter. Having to pretend, having to always be on my best behaviour so as to not awaken the beast, led to me creating various personas of “good girl” + “everything has to be perfect girl” + “let me over achieve” to “peace maker”.
It was downright exhausting. Which led to my first melt down during my last year of school – after years of living & walking on egg shells. This conditioning led to some very interesting outcomes in my mid 20’s to early 30’s. Survival mode was my go-to and fear condition was rife and little did I know what it was doing to my body. After witnessing him undergo shock therapy (as in brain shock therapy) for treatment of what we know now as PTSD – I decided there and then, that there “has to be another way” in helping people. Little did I know how pivotal that belief would be in my current
line of work. When my wheels came off it was never in one big thunderous way, I was always firing on 1 or 2 cylinders instead of 4. I had numerous miss-diagnosed and miss-treated “mystery” illnesses – all in hindsight adrenal fatigue related. From severe candida, chronic back ache that lasted years and years, varicose veins, migraines, period problems, weight gain and even adult acne. Now self healed I am fortunate enough to assist others not in the field of PTSD but in the topic of my sweet spot – burnout.
They say soldiers & servicemen have a mission and that is to right the world from its wrongs. That they sacrifice themselves for a greater mission. Sadly his sacrifice came at a massive personal cost to my father and our family BUT I thank him every day. Because through his experiences and what I took from it – I am now able and have helped 1000’s of people.
My name is Adele (not THE Adele) – I am 42yrs old, and Adrenal Fatigue & Burnout Coach
that proudly calls Australia home and I work with high achievers, high performing women
who burnout instead of thrive. Trust me there are many, each with their own story. What is
yours?
From Adele – https://thebigcourage.com
