Women – damn we’re polite!  Polite till it hurts – our business! 

However, let’s not let being polite prevent us from being effective in our business ventures.  So often, we ladies dance around asking for what we want because we think we’re being too pushy.  That’s nonsense!  It’s entirely possible to ask for what you want – politely. 

Please Mum, may I have another lolly?  Please Mum, may I go to the movies?  Please Mum, may I go out with Harry on his motorcycle?   

Now there’s a big difference between a lolly and a motorcycle ride with the rakishly handsome and somewhat rebellious Harry but you’ve got to admire your daughter for trying.  Right?  And for the politeness in her requests. 

Here’s the thing – if you want to meet someone, say, the Editor of the Women’s Weekly, then let people know, politely, that you’d like to meet her.   

One thing I’ve learned time and time again through networking is that you never know who other people know.  So if you’ve put the time into building trust and rapport with your networking buddies, then, if they know Helen McCabe they are highly likely to connect you with her.  But if you never ask, politely, the connection will never be made. 

My husband is a writer and he’s slowly (very slowly – I swear glaciers travel faster!) putting together a book about rock’n’roll legends.  He was speaking to a colleague the other day about this and naming some people he’d like to meet.  Bingo!  Of the six names, he reeled off his colleague knew a promoter who knew 3 of them.   

Build the trust then ask to meet someone.  Do not attempt to ask before you have the trust. 

Too many businesswomen say, “I want to meet someone who needs insurance.”  Guess what?  We all need insurance.  A better option might be, “I want to meet builders.  Builders hand over a set of keys to a new homeowner and the first thing that new owner needs to do is insure their biggest asset.  I’d really love to meet Rachel Cunningham, CEO of Cunningham Homes.  I think we could work well together.” 

It’s polite, informative and, above all, useful because, if you’ve built the rapport, the person you’re speaking to will ask her friends and colleagues if they know Rachel.  That way you stand a much better chance of being connected with her. 

Now, of course, building trust takes time so don’t be impatient.  Simply get out there and get networking and sow the seeds you will reap in abundance later. 

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