Throughout my life I have experienced different forms of abuse from childhood trauma to sexual assault and domestic violence. I packed my emotions down deep so I could focus on surviving. For decades this strategy served me well. My mask gave me strength, but what was beneath that mask?
Just to add a wee bit of context, I grew in a nice area, I have a Master’s degree, travelled extensively and lived in 4 countries. I had a successful career in IT as a Project Manager, Delivery Manager and Coach. From the outside, it looked like I had an amazing life. But the reality is quite different when you are someone living, no suffering in secrecy.
Let me paint a picture, it is like pouring water into a glass, at some point in time the water will begin to spill out. This is the same outcome when emotions are held in, at some point they will come out.
Between 2014 to 2016 my survival defences began to weaken, and my walls began to crack. The buried emotions; hurt, pain, anger, hate, shame began to spill out and usually at the most inappropriate times and places. Someone would say something that would trigger me beyond my comprehension so I would react instead of understand.
In 2016 after series of tragedies, my defences shattered. My self belief, the way I spoke to myself, could only be described as self-abuse. I believed that I was worthless, I was less than nothing. The strategies I had used to survive were no longer resourceful. I spent my life either running away from my past traumas or doing everything for everyone else to hide from them. In a moment of self reflection I came to the realisation that there was one common element in all the events in my life. ME!
I left my corporate Coaching job and embarked on journey of discovery. I loved Coaching but how was it that I could help others and yet I couldn’t help myself? And because I couldn’t help myself, was I really serving others? I entrenched myself in researching and studying modalities and techniques and discovered the incredible power of the ones which have their foundations in neuroscience. I experienced how past trauma can not only be healed but the beliefs and the way we see and interact with the world can be reprogrammed to support us in living life to its fullest potential.
Looking back, I wish I knew of someone who had been through similar experiences, who could understand me without judgement and who had the tools and techniques to help me. Now, I am that person. I am committed to helping woman.
Life isn’t about surviving or even thriving, it is about truly living in the present and looking towards the future and that can only be achieved by letting go of the past.
Skipping forward a couple years…
I now work with amazing, courageous ladies who have experienced trauma in their life and because of their unrealised strength they have packed all the anger, guilt, shame, self-loathing so deep down just so they can survive and just get on with it. Now in their 30s and 40s their strategies that once helped them move forward are now holding them back from having the life, careers and relationships they so desperately want and truly deserve.
Why? Because, I deeply and passionately believe that no matter what someone has been through, there is a way to completely LET GO of all the sh!t and have a life filled with happiness, joy and fulfilment. I don’t just believe it, I KNOW IT.
If you or someone you know is suffering in secrecy from the impacts of past trauma, and you are ready to LET IT GO and start living life to its fullest potential contact me for a free discovery/exploration session
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